Crisp leaves on the ground. A distinct chill in the air. Noelle was getting excited. Autumn was her favorite season. Or so she thought.

Halloween was just around the corner, and she had been too busy planning her party to notice that she was being watched.

She looked over into the treeline but didn't see the large wolf standing there. Ryker, someone everyone knows as an ordinary high school student, stepped out of the dense forest. Looking at Noelle's house intently, he stepped into the road, not noticing the cars speeding down the street.

He jumped out of the way, just before a huge truck would have hit him. The driver yelled something unintelligible and shook his fist at Ryker, who yelled back "Same to you, buddy!" and shook his head to clear it.

"I guess I should pay more attention to where I'm going," he muttered to himself. "I don't want to end up in the hospital (of worse, the morgue) before I complete my mission!"

Noelle, trying to get away from the stress of planning her party, she stepped out of her house. Taking in the cool air, Noelle notices Tyler walking past her house, looking at her. Feeling embarrassed, Ryker quickly looks away, shoving his hands into his pockets. Noelle looked at him skeptically before slowly walking back into her house.

Noelle thought to herself, "Why is Ryker walking past my house? And staring at me, to boot?* She knew he lived in another part of town, and she had never seen him on the neighborhood before.

The more she thought about it, the more confused she was by the whole situation. Never one to just sit idly by when something strange happened, Noelle made the decision to follow Ryker and ask him what was going on.

Noelle grabbed her jacket and jogged out of the front door, quickly catching up to Ryker.

"Her Ryker." Noelle casually called out to him, falling into step with him.

"Oh, hey Noelle. What are you doing here?" Ryker asks, slowing the pace of his walking.

Noelle, smiling to herself, looks up at Ryker and stops walking. "I should be asking you the same question."

"What do you mean?" Ryker asks, trying to look innocent. Not very convincingly though. Noelle saw right through his ruse.

With a doubtful look on her face, Noelle said, "Quit playing games with me. You know exactly what I'm taking about. Why are you in my neighborhood watching me? You don't even live here and I've never seen you here before. What is going on?"

Ryker hesitates, trying to make something up in his head, while Noelle stands there waiting for an answer.

"I... Um..." He stammers, "I was, uh, checking out the house for the party later." He manages to say.

"Quit making excuses Ryker! You should know that I can see right through you, considering we've know each other for 3 years now." Noelle says, getting aggravated.

Ryker looks away, trying to buy himself some time. A slight blush creeps up his neck and into his cheeks. "Well, um.. The truth is.. Um.. I'm keeping and eye on you because you are in danger. I don't think you can handle the situation alone."

Noelle scoffs at the notion. "Danger? Me? You've got to be kidding me. Or crazy. Nobody would hurt me."

Ryker started to worry that Noelle wasn't grasping the gravity of the situation. He grabbed her arm and turned her around. He practically dragged her back to her house. Once they were inside, Ryker locked the door behind them. "You need to listen to me. I am not kidding around here!" Your life is in danger, and you will not survive if you dont listen to me!"

Noelle, starting to get scared said, "Wh- what do you mean?" Her voice shook and her face had gone pale.

Scratching the back of his neck, Ryker came out with the truth. "I found out that my brother, Lazarus, is going to try murder you tonight at the party."

As soon as the words left his mouth tju heard footsteps above them. Little did they know, Lazarus had gotten into the house while they were outside.

1 Answer

  • It is really a great story so far. What you need to do next is to write what did Ryker and Noelle do when they heard the footsteps above them. Did they investigate or did they leave the house? Since Ryker had already told Noelle that his brother was going to try and murder her, I don't think you should send them directly upstairs to see what or who made the footsteps. You should let the story continue a little more to be more dramatic. Don't let the story be a cliche like others would do. Perhaps, they could hide and wait to see who comes down. They could also catch the brother and then call the police or even the parents. You want the story to be different and have more excite to make the reader be wowed in the end.